We fly tomorrow

So we get on a plane tomorrow afternoon to fly to Florida to see my very (probably terminally) ill grandmother. Here's the plan:

Myself, baby Ray and hubby along with my mother, will get on a plane at 120pm to arrive at Orlando airport where we will meet my father (the divorced from my mother one) as he flies in earlier in the day from NY. We will pile this little dysfunctional bunch into a minivan and drive 1.5 hours to crescent city (a blip on the map) to spend the week at a motel near my grandfather to visit my dying grandmother. Dad (as of today) had not told my grandfather that he was coming-no really, he hasnt!

A quick bio on each:

Lets start with the most dysfuntional one-Dad: lets just say that if I have issues, they are from him. Since the new girlfriend drinks enough for 3 people, he has essentially lost his battle with that demon. Thankfully, he stays sober during the day or I wouldnt even allow him to travel with us. He's a mean drunk and not a good early morning person but we've made as much peace with this issue as is going to happen. But he can be cynical and sarcastic and talks down without thinking to almost everyone. He and my grandfather are on not great terms right now due to the events of the last several years..not that my grandfather would be a wonderful person if only my father wasnt involved.

Speaking of, lets get to Paw Paw- The mid part of the abuse cycle. As a child, my father was slapped around, literally as was my aunt. My grandfather's temper was only surpassed by his intolerance of many many things & people. My grandmother is the smallest, sweetest woman and basically was unable to stand up to or between the raging anger that was my grandfather. Unfortunately, this anger got passed on to my father. Like I said, we've made our peace.

Mom- remember, they're divorced. Mom is nervous to begin with. Add my father (who can make normal people timid with a few sentences) makes her fall apart or start having ulcers. He treats her badly just because he can & he talks down to her and she feels like crap about it. She's already nervous about the trip, now she's getting stomach sick thinking about my father and grandfather killing eachother while we're there.

Hubby & Ray will be just traveling in this swirl. I hope to insulate the little guy from all of it.

I am the middle gal. The one everyone will look at and say (already saying) what the hell...what will we do. What if...

I'll tell you what my plan is- there are 4.27 miles from my grandfather's house to the motel we are all staying at. they will get one warning shot to cease & desist over their bow. Then we will leave. 4.27 miles is a good long walk to think about your issues and though mom is wringing her hands and saying we cant do that, I have no such discomfort. I'm tired of the warring factions of Crane. And I'm NOT going to be part of the dysfunction. and I absolutely REFUSE to subject my innocent child to their poison.

So, hopefully, there will be no blood shed and I will be allowed to say goodbye to my grandmother in peace & love which she deserves more than anyone I know on this earth.

Pray we survive the flight, the week and the trip home. Ive had a few anxiety filled moments but ive learned over the years that my father's side of the family sees or perceives weakness and they're on you like a pack of wolves.

And people wonder why I'm an anal control oriented person....